Do you love the sea?
he asked me, in the front seat of
Sandy the jeep Cherokee
he doesn’t usually name things
but she was so clearly Sandy just like he
was so clearly blue creamy calloused aura of
yesterday and today and forever’s tomorrow morning
I’ll make you better coffee next time
I’ve already thought about it
probably more than I should
Sometimes I’m not sure how there’s
so much real estate in my brain
how the pain of yesterday’s childhood screams
with hyperventilation
an invisible pen writing messages in the closet
hoping she just forgets I exist, mixed with the
passion for midday cooking shows with step mommy and
the too loud funk music after school as he circles around in his
Rolex Cadillac brut smelling musk
he always made my cheeks blush
the eternal dedication to painting Kashmir and ukulele world peace
the breathe of life so sweet and
so goddamn mean
I’m learning to be angry
didn’t think that was an emotion that was good to express
but the earth’s bloody body and tears are calling for it
the right kind of angry
the mobilize to action because complacency
won’t work anymore
it never worked
the “I don’t read the news,”
“I don’t talk politics”
“I can’t be bothered with problems from far away”
says suburban mom whose household is entirely sustained on
products from far away
oil from Arabia to cart your kids to practice
knick knack toys made with cheap labor from China
your exotic foods that keep you healthy and green and high minded so that you can
safely attend your next dinner party and say
“I don’t talk politics”
How did we get here?
Does she really love the sea?
I do
I do love the sea because it connects
this great big web of humanity that allows us to
to think all these things
to look out and imagine that infinity does exist
and that I can touch your creamy complexion hopefully
for at least part of it
and that you’ll listen to me be angry
for the first time in a long time
to love the sea
but be angry at her ships
that bring narcotics that cause wars and pain
and keep me high until Sunday morning
you salty
sea loving hypocrite
Do you love the sea?
do you feel her ailments and sink
with her pseudo buoyant dreams
of romantic floating on the surface nonsense
you know, you only float
if you want to
until
drowning takes over the psyche so easily and
even the happiest of birdies will die
But don’t fret too long in the sadness
do it for the park, the flowers, the trees,
do something that will make the band sing
do it for the sea
Write something happy! he said
But all I really care about is
making you better coffee next time
Maybe I’ll be happier then